The IMDb--the International Movie Database (http://www.imdb.com) is a handy source of data for logology.

Dipping into it recently I was pleased to unearth a fourteen-step transpositional ladder starting with Steven Spielberg's sublime classic 'ET--the Extraterrestrial' and ending with

ET (1982)

Spielberg 's saga about that weird little phone home guy.

TEN (2002)

A documentary drama by Iranian director Abbas Kiarostami about ten conversations between a female driver in Tehran and the passengers in her car.

LENT (1984)

Peter Barber-Fleming 's sparse feature film. Obviously the first in a trilogy with 'Easter' and 'Whitsuntide' to follow.

YENTL (1983)

Barbra Streisand's romance about cross-dressing on an Ashkanazic shtetl. PLENTY (1985)

Fred Schepisi's movie about a woman in postwar England starring Meryl Streep.

PENALTY (2000)

Pieter Van Hees's short film about a soccer player taking a penalty kick. During that moment he sees his life flashing past him like a striker's goal into the back of the net. Not sure the French World Cup team would enjoy this one.

PENALITY (not due for release before 2030)

Offbeat thriller about an S&M freak in Sing Sing.

INTERPLAY (1970)

Albert T. Viola's redneck comedy. In the U.K. it was known as "Part-time Virgins: INTERPLAYS (no release date)

The sequel to 'Interplay' with more temporary Southern virgins being chased by the Preacherman and Sergeant Kabukiman, we presume.

PERSONALITY (1930)

Victor Heerman's romantic comedy starring Johnny Arthur and Sally Start. Z-PERSONALITY (dates to be announced)

In a team management focus group a happy-go-lucky HR exec with an I-personality falls in love with an interpersonal dynamics trainer with a dominant D-personality.

IMPERSONALITY (official release deferred indefinitely)

Minimalist biopic about Samuel Beckett. No plot--just two hours of rolling quotations from Beckett' s work.

POLYMERISATION (projected for 2020)

'The Nutty Professor' meets 'A.I.'

In Sydney Nylon's flubberghasting epic about the plastics industry Jack Plastik, a monomeric lab technician in the polystyrene foam business, gets accidentally polymerised and discovers a parallel universe called Plastiverse where he becomes a celluloid hero. Through the magic of film Jack is projected back to our universe and shown daily as a hologram in the sky.

POLYMERISATIONS (production schedules not yet finalised)

'Flubber' meets 'Planet of the Apes ".

In this sequel to 'Polymerisation' Jack revisits Plastiverse and falls in love with a celluloid heroine called Polly. He and his plastic lass return to Earth only to find out that it has been covered with the polystyrene foam which has been leaking from his laboratory. The movie closes with their discovery of the last surviving free radical, Norman Mailer, who is trapped inside a solvent cage in the reception centre at O'Hare Airport. Mailer is heard to lament "Ubiquitous plastic. Yeah, I told them so."

o MISS PERSONALITY (no dates)

'Miss Congeniality' meets 'Mr. Personality'. A tomboy bimbo gets to choose between homeboy himbas on a reality dating show. This one will go straight to DVD.

JOHN HOLGATE

Sydney, Australia